Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
