Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
