these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
