she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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