I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
