No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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