oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
