i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He better not be in your backpack
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
