Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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