Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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