Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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