I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i wish my penis had a tongue
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
