They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
