of course. lets lasso hookers.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
