things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
