I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
