Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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