so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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