READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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