That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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