I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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