The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
