I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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