the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
