Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
wow bdsm is so cute
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
