On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
