How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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