she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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