She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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