we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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