nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
