he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
