i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
