if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
