This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We smell like vodka and hangover
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