Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
