apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
