Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
two words...techno handjob
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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