great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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