I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
