All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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