i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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