tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Enjoy the penises
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
