What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
