i just google imaged poop.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
