playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
