another moral hangover. fuck.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
