Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
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