is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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