OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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