Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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